Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Extending Love

  It was one of those days. One of those days where everything seems to go wrong. From the moment my feet hit the floor that morning and I realized I'd missed my alarm clock and slept late, the day just felt off. I'd like to say I'm always put together, on time, and poised....but that's just not true. In all honesty, the words "frenzy" and "running a hundred miles an hour with my hair on fire" are more accurate at times. And honestly, as the day went on, I was not feeling that great about life...or myself. Earlier that morning, I found time to put on a little eyeliner, throw on a wrinkled shirt and my comfiest pair of blue jeans, and let my hair air dry on it's own (never the best choice.) As the day wore on, I became more and more discouraged with life. I promised to always be honest with you guys on this blog, and so that means I'm not one of those bloggers - you know the ones - who have the perfect outfit on at all times, complete with red lipstick, a Chanel bag, and Tiffany's earrings - the ideal life, and (somehow) a bank account that always comfortably allows for fancy dinners, shopping sprees, and many weekly exotic outings. I'm just a girl who deals with daily life stuff. Who looks for the good and tries to make the most of every situation. Who is totally open about her flaws.

  But by mid-afternoon that day, due to a combination of having a lot on my mind, being weary, and fighting discouragement, I had to do something. And when push comes to shove, what's a girl to do? I went to get some coffee from the school coffee shop. Coffee will always helps one's state of mind.

  I walked up to the coffee machine and punched the button for my favorite french vanilla cappuccino. And as I fumbled through my backpack, brushing back a stray strand of unruly hair from my face and sighing, the girl who walked up behind me smiled kindly at me. And then she said, "You always look so cute! You just have the prettiest hair and I love your style. I always think you look just so pretty." I was frozen as I found my 50 cents at the bottom of my bag. Tears threatened to flow, and all I could do was quietly stand there and say, "Thank you...you dont know how much i needed to hear that today."

  It was just a short sentence. A few seconds of conversation. A quick exchange. But you know what? It changed my entire day. I'm not just saying that, either. I walked outta there feeling like a new girl (and it wasn't because of the coffee, although that has been known to happen.) Uplifted and encouraged - just because someone took the time to speak a few kind words to me. That sweet girl could have just waited her turn, checked her phone, said nothing at all. But she didn't. She took the time to say something nice to me and she changed my day.

  And it got me thinking, the rest of the week, about the power of words. The sheer power one human being has over another just by speaking words. It's incredible, really. And as I thought about it, I began to think of moments and times in my life when words were spoken to me - words I will never, ever forget. Words are powerful. Words are life-giving, like I experienced at school that day. But words can also hurt and sting, words can stay with you for a lifetime. And they can even shape and define the very people we become. When spoken, words cannot be taken back. If hurtful, they can be forgiven. But usually, they are never forgotten. I began to think about words in my life - defining moments when words were spoken that I will never forget.

"The tongue has the power of life and death."
Proverbs 18:21

Words have power. God spoke the world into existence, just using words alone. Words have meaning.

"And God said, 'Let there be light.' And there was light."
Genesis 1:3

  There are times in the past when people - even friends very close to me - didn't understand me, didn't take time to use their words to ask me what was going on in my heart, didn't take time to use their words to find out why I acted a certain way, why I made certain choices. Instead, words were used to tear me down - to judge, to gossip, to shame. It taught me a very painful lesson - to not only use words to encourage others, but also use words to get to know their hearts. To not judge just by outward appearances, choices, or even attitudes - but to dig deeper and talk - to sit down with someone you don't understand, someone you're even hurt by - and lovingly, graciously put aside judgement and really ask them to use their words to share their heart. In times I've chosen to do that rather than lash out in judgement, slander or gossip with my words - I've often found there's more to the story, more to a person's heart and actions than just what is seen. If people in my life in the past had taken the time to know my heart, a lot of hurt could've been spared.
I know I've been the one who's hurt others at times. I know I've hurt others by careless words. And I wish I could take them back. Realizing the power of words as I get older and have moments when words uplift like that sweet girl's did, I am driven to be more careful - more thoughtful about my words. I want to use the power my words have to give life, hope, love, and encouragement to the people I meet.

  So, at the end of last week - I found myself on the other side of the "coffee situation." And I had a choice to make - a choice to hold my words of encouragement in or use them to build someone else up. A weary girl  numbly fumbled for a cup, and I took the opportunity - I knew it was there - because I knew that look on her face. The same look I wore just days before as I stood in the exact same part. I seized the moment, "You have the prettiest smile," I said - "And I love your headband." She lit up. And she smiled so wide, she laughed. Her whole demeanor changed, the next minute I spent across from her she smiled and said, "Thank you...thank you." And it reminded me of someone else I know....just days before.

  That, is what extending love looks like - not only did my encourager earlier in the week speak life to me, but the very act of encouraging me inspired me to lift up someone else!

  Words bring life or death. They can uplift or drag down. And they live long past the moment they are spoken - they live forever in the mind and heart of the one spoken to...and they can even inspire one to do good.

  Let's use our words in a purposeful way this week - to uplift, bring life, encourage, and inspire. You never know where a little word will take somebody. It could be the one they remember the rest of their life. And that, sweet friend - means something.

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