A Rainy Day Revelation

This morning as i laid on my bed, staring out the window, I watched the rain fall, and the cars drive by. I felt so sorry for my self. I felt like total crap. I felt like i should cry. "My life sucks" i said to myself. "I cant get the guy i want, i dont have much money, i have family problems, i mess everything up, no body cares about me, my sisters fight all day long, my parents just dont understand me, i cant control my emotions, i feel un-cared for, why am i even here?" When i sat there i started thinking.... What am  i talking about? I cant act like this just because im not having a good day. I realized how truly blessed i am... I  could be out on the streets in this rain, starving to death, with no where to go and no one to talk to. Yes, i have my problems, but i am truly blessed. Then i sat and thought about how many other things i complain to myself about.... "This water tastes funny..." I said a couple days ago, and didnt drink, simply because it tasted different than normal... Theres thousands, millions, BILLIONS, of people who are dying of thirst, and havent had anything to eat or drink in months. And i complain, because its raining. I complain because we dont have any junk food. i complain because our water simply "Tastes funny"? I realized how self absorbed i had been. how much i was concerned about myself, and how i looked, and what i did and didnt have. And i realized that thats not why God put my on this earth. Im not here to sit around and complain and feel sorry for myself because i dont have everything i want. I definitely have way more than what i need, i have more than most people could ever imagine... i started thinking back to when our exchange student, Sasha, from belarus came and stayed with us for a summer, and simple things that i overlooked, like ceiling fans and flash lights, where luxury items to him. The fact that more than half of the children there were born with deformities or cancer, because of the radiation plant explosion decades ago. The fact that in his culture, they arent allowed to be christians, but he chose to be one anyways, and he doesnt even hide his faith, he wears a cross around his neck at all times. God gave me a chance to freely worship him, and safe place to share it, and Sasha, who lived somewhere he could be persecuted for his beliefs, was a stronger believer than i am. God gave me all that i had, not so i could live in luxury, but so that i can share it with people who need it more than i do. God didnt give me all i have so i could go to the mall and blow money on things i truly dont need, but that i can give it to people who need food, water, clothes, and even shelter. I wasnt put on this earth "by chance" i was put here, by God, to make a difference, and to change peoples lives. to share gods word, and to worship him fully. God didnt put me here to sit and complain. i was put here to do his will. and its about time i start doing that.

♥Anna Marie