20/20

I'm struggling. 
I'm struggling with the state of the world around me.
But more importantly, I'm struggling with the state of my own undeserving heart.


The more I know of God, the more obvious my own inadequacy becomes.
Which makes sense, right? 
You think your socks are clean until you buy a new pair.
They're a pure, dazzling, flawless white. And your old socks, though freshly washed, don't seem so perfect anymore. And they won't-- not ever again. Because you thought you knew what "white" meant before that trip to Target; you really did. But now you know you were wrong. 
You think you see the world as it is until you get glasses for the first time.
And suddenly you realize those green blobs you've been staring at are leaves. And you can see eyelashes, and fine print, and the grain of your hardwood floors in a bright new crispness that you never knew existed. And can you ever go back to life without glasses? Impossible-- because now YOU SEE HOW BLIND YOU WERE. 


And ain't that the truth?


The more glimpses we catch of the absolute love, power and holiness of our Creator...
The more apparent our own crappiness becomes.
And the more we comprehend our depravity... 
The more we clearly see our desperate need to cling to the cross.


Which is why it's hard for me to see people who say they love God reacting differently to His majesty. And I've thought over this and wrestled with risking sounding prideful, but here it is:
If you really know Jesus, and you really see what He went through, and you really comprehend that He did it BECAUSE of you --willingly-- for your sake and the sake of humanity.... How can you see yourself as more righteous than others who don't know what you know?
THEY HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE
THAT THE GUILTLESS SON OF GOD WAS CRUCIFIED FOR THEIR FOLLIES.
you do.
If you are what you say you are, then you've tasted the reality of Christ's unbelievable grace in your life. And that shouldn't make us feel superior to other people---
it should make us fall down on our faces and mourn.
Like, wail in agony over the fact that,
WE ARE THE THORNS IN HIS CROWN
WE ARE THE BEADS OF SWEAT ON HIS BROW
WE ARE THE NAILS IN HIS WRISTS
and He loves us anyway.


Which is the most amazing fact ever. But that shouldn't make you feel like you've received forgiveness because you're somehow better than others. We should feel overwhelmingly loved, yes-- but also overwhelmingly humbled that He chose to save us. US! In the rotten, sinful, unworthy state we were in. You know what else is cool? You have a brand new pair of glasses with which to inspect your old, nasty, stained socks; as we understand more of God, it isn't our pride that should increase...
it's our humility.


"That's why we love Jesus so much more than religion.
Religion is only for the good people, that's what they think.
Those who are religious and think they're good, they're the worst of all.
Jesus is for everyone else; the sinners, the broken, the rebels,
the hard-hearted, stiff-necked nobodies from nowhere;
the illiterate, the poor, the outcasts,
the marginalized, weak failures....
If we deserved His gift, it wouldn't be grace.
You know that Jesus wants to be with you,
not because you are amazing, but because He is?
He is the God of grace."