At The Very Core Of Me

Theres this constant desire, need, and passion... to write, instilled within me. Theres a voice inside me, that wont be still. A voice that roars, louder than anything else inside me. A voice that controls my utmost being. A voice that comes out when i write. 

If you know me well, you know i struggle with words, but when i write, words just flow from me. Somehow when i write all of those problems just dissapear. That voice speaks, and its a beautiful thing to watch unfold. 

Now this voice, for a while i didnt know where it was coming from. I thought maybe it was just me in pure and simple form. I thought maybe it was just the person inside me, that hadnt been completely formed yet. But as ive grown up that voice has only grown stronger and stronger. That overwhelming power that i feel when i write has only become more and more a part of me. And the more i started to think about it, the more confused i got. When i had struggled with thinking through my confused tangents for what i felt was long enough, i finally decided to take some time to write.

I took time to write about writing? Not entirely... i took time to write about what happens to me when i write. I took time to journal about the passion that overcomes me when i pull out that elegant book of blank paper. About the feeling of power i feel when i pick up that pen. About the fire that sparks in my heart and as my writing continues into a full flame.... a flame that continues to burn bright even after my writing is finished. 

I took time to write about the voice inside me, begging to be heard. The voice that wont remain quiet, that wont remain still. The voice that overpowers everything around me and everything i think i am. The voice that shows me how i actually feel, and who i actually am. 

I heard a quote once, something along the lines of 

"There are thousands of thoughts within a man that he does not know of until he picks up a pen to write."

And that quote couldnt stand more true.

The more i write, the more i discover not only about the world around me and the people in it, but the more i discover about myself. Myself at the very core.

You see, most people think they know who they are.. but i dont think you can fully know who you are without writing out your thoughts.

When i write my thoughts on a blank peice of paper, i can literally look at a peice of myself laying in front of me. Although some papers may have smudges or ramen stains... They all have a few things in common. Theyre all me, all of those papers are me. They all have my handwriting and my thoughts, and even a little peice of my heart. They all are from that voice inside of me. Inspired by who i am and my life trials and experiences. They all bring that flame inside of me to a whole 'nother level. A level thats so pure and powerful that ive simply become addicted to writing. 

So ill end with this, 

I write because there is a voice within me that will not be still.