Today i really realized that maybe God's calling me to do more than just be the average teenager. Maybe instead of just having fun and being crazy, God wants me to be a servant for him... and highschool is definitely a good place to start. Even going to a christian school, theres places and people that need serving there... Even if thats just through my actions and attitude. I represent God's kingdom, I represent Christianity... all by being a Christian. And it makes me sad to see how many people forget that, including myself. When im frustrated or mad, and i say or do something mean, im representing Christ, and the church, in a way it isnt. And that just must break God's heart to see.

In Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting people’s sins against them.  He entrusted the message of reconciliation to us. So we are ambassadors for Christ, since God is making his appeal through us.  We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God.”  2 Corinthians 5:18,19

God entrusted us with telling others about him

Are we taking this responsibility seriously?
I know i always thought "Well im not the best for this, other people are better with words, other people know more about the Bible than i do. And i mean, how do you NOT hear about Jesus? Its their own fault they arent christians."
When thats not how it works at all. 

Okay im getting kinda off subject... lets see if i can get back on subject here.

We're a holy nation, belonging to God. We've received mercy from God, but do we act like we received mercy? I want to represent God in everything i do. 

Lately ive had someone hurt me, and so many people have been saying mean things about them. They want to tell them a piece of their mind. They wanna show them what happens when they mess with me. But i tell them no. Thats not the way to handle this situation. I dont hate them, im not really even mad at them. I just am disappointed that i was taken advantage of, and that i saw someone deep inside this person, wanting out, and they just ignored that, and i never said anything. People keep saying i should be mad at him, but im not. Im at peace with all of this. I feel like God was almost telling me to write this blog post to try and make my friends more at peace with all this as well.

God wired me to be kind and compassionate. I care about people. Everyone has a heart, and everyone has emotions. But alot of people only care about how THEY feel and how their decision affects them and only them. I try my best to always represent God in the best way. I try my best to represent christ with my actions, words, thoughts, and deeds. I try to be kind to everyone, no matter what they've done to me. God's given me mercy, so i should show mercy to others, as an example of Christs love. I need to let Christs love show through who i am and the decisions i make. 

I do this because i love him, not so that i will, and honestly, im horrified of when i go to heaven, the first thing God saying to me is "Why didn't you fulfill the small tasks i asked of you on Earth? And now you DARE ask for a reward?"

Im a Daughter of the King. Im walking one step at a time to my destiny with the father. God leads, and i try my best to follow. She who kneels before God can stand before anyone and i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

A letter from God

My Beloved Daughter,
I am so proud of you. Just thinking about you makes me sing (Zephaniah 3:17). You are the apple of my eye, my daughter in whom I have found great delight (Psalms 17:8, 149:4, Song of Solomon 4:10). Even in your struggles, you look to me. You have not broken your covenant of love with me, and I am so pleased with you. Though you do not see, you believe; though you do not always hear, you listen and obey. Yes, you are yet imperfect. Sometimes you fall down, but I love you in your struggles. Your weaknesses are beautiful, because it is from that place of repentance that you realize how much you need me (2 Corinthians 12:10, Song of Solomon 1:5). 
 
You are beautiful, my darling, unique, one of a kind (Song of Solomon 1:15, 6:9). How lovely are the works of my hands (Isaiah 64:8)! Who is there to say that my creation is not beautiful (Is 45:9)? I created your inmost being; I knit you together in your mother’s womb (Ps 139:13). See, before I established the foundations of the Earth, I knew you. Before I parted the oceans, I was waiting for you, peering through the lattices of time: Let me hear your voice! (Song of Solomon 8:13). Your voice is like the choicest perfume, like sweet honey to my lips (Song of Solomon 4:11). Do not be afraid (Isaiah 41:10). 
 
Dark are you, but lovely (Song of Solomon 1:5). I have chosen you among you companions, I called you by name, and you are mine (Psalm 45:7, Song of Solomon 2:16). Nothing can separate you from my love (Romans 8:38-39). I am here for YOU, every day, every moment. There is nothing I would not do for YOU, because I have already given you the greatest gift of all, my Son (John 3:16). Here I am, laying before you a banqueting table of my riches (Song of Solomon 2:4). Take, and be filled! Do not be satisfied with the mediocre life that the world has to offer (Song of Solomon 2:4). Only in me can you find the abundant life you are searching for (I Timothy 6:19, John 10:10). 
 
Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know” (Jeremiah 33:3). Be still and listen. Turn off every distraction. In the secret place you shall find me (Psalm 91:1-2). In the temple of your spirit, I have built my resting place (1 Corinthians 6:19). Many search for me, but do not find me, because they fear the cost of my friendship (Luke 9:23). They do not know that true love is not measured on the scales of emotion, but of quiet devotion (John 14:15). So, draw near to me, and I will draw near to you (James 4:8). Even when you do not feel me, I am there. I will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). “For I know the plans I have for you…plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11, NIV). Rejoice, then, rejoice! Give thanks to me and praise me name! (Psalm 100:4). For “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness” (Jeremiah 31:3, NIV). My love for you remains as steady as the rising sun (Psalm 103:17). It never changes, because you are my child, my creation, and I am well pleased with you (Hebrews 13:8).
 
Love,Your Heavenly Dad

Dear God

God, i cry out to you.... I need you, more than ever right now... I'm sorry for forgetting that you are more than I could ever need, and getting caught up in cares of the world. Those things are fleeting.... they don't last. You last forever.... You were, you are, and you will be. You are I AM. You are God and are worthy of all my praise and are worthy of all my heart.... every piece. Without you I am nothing, I am a wretched fool... I am so ugly on the inside and outside without you, and no earthly remedy for beauty will truly make me beautiful. You are the only truly beautiful one... I need you to wash me clean, renew and restore me, and adorn me with your kind of beauty, I want to be more like Jesus.... I want people to look at me and see you God... Create in me a servant's heart. I want to be more like Jesus, more selfless. I am weak God, but you are strong. Make yourself strong through my weakness. Take the throne of my life.... I need you to lead me in everything, my thoughts, actions, and decisions.... because you always know best. Not my will but yours be done, always. I am second, I am your servant. You are Holy and worthy of all my praise!! May your name always be lifted high. My soul thirsts for you... you are good. Heal me! Emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically... thank you for answering all my prayers! Thank you for providing for me and taking care of all my needs. Help me not to worry about anything. I trust you. I love you. Help me touch people's hearts and bring them closer to you. Help me be a blessing to people. Holy Spirit, guide my words. God I ask for more wisdom, and insight. I want to have the mind of Christ. I delight myself in the Lord and He gives me the desires of my heart. The Lord perfects that which concerns me. Thank you for loving me and forgiving me when I don't deserve it. I love you.
And in the words of Jesus i say My God my God why have you forsaken me?
But God, is it more that i have forsaken you than you forsaking me?
You never leave me, yet how many times do i flatout forget about you? 
Monthly? Weekly? Daily? Hourly? 
My God, Im filled with horror and im ashamed when i realize ive forsaken you and your son, once again.
When your Son died for me. To give me a chance at life. And i just forget about it. I dont tell anyone that he died for me, and i dont even try and stop the things at which he died for me for! 
When i keep doing those things, and sinning, im telling you that those things and sins mean more to me, then you do God! And i wish i could deny that, but its right in front of me, and God no matter how much i try and change, the devil just eats at me God. And how is it that you're stronger than he but yet you dont intervene? God i understand that you let me make my own decisions, but i need you to work  within me! I need you to give me a burning fire within me, that burns off of you Lord! Give me the strength to achieve what you've set out for me God! Oh God forgive me for my wrongs and give me another chance, even though i dont deserve it. God ive been paying you lipservice for far to long. When i sing to you in worship, when i shout words of praise to you, do i actually mean what im saying? 
I sing things saying that God is all i need, that i give my life to him! but do i really mean what im singing? I hear God in a mocking voice, he says "Anna, dont sing that to me! Dont say that you're giving me your life completely if you arent! Dont tell me you are! I know the truth Anna, And thats not it!"
Im ashamed! I wish i could i mean what im singing. I pray to you God all the time, but i dont do any more than a lipservice God! I talk and talk and talk about doing things, but i dont do what i need to do for you God! All i want is to know you better! i want that burning passion for you God! and I'll occasionally have it! but it passes God. I want a never ending passion. I want you in my life constantly. every minute of every day God. Not just when i need you to help me God. I dont want to be a lip server God, I want to serve you in every thought, action, word, and step and step of my life God, And i need your help with that. I need you to give me that passion God, because that isnt something i can do in my heart God! I dont want to serve you so that i receive a passion for you, but i want to receive a passion for you so that i serve you! God help me with this, i pray that you help me with this. I love you and you mean so much to me, but i need to love you sooo much more God. Help me with my life. Help me with my sins. I dont want to put those sins above you God like i am today. God i need your help.


Your ashamed Daughter,
Anna

Where'd My Summer Go?