What is it about him?

The more I read the Word,

the more I realize how filthy and pathetic I am.

The more I see of my own shortcomings,

the more I want to follow the example of Christ.

The more I learn about Jesus,

the more undeserving I feel.

The more I realize my own unworthiness,

the more I understand how overwhelmingly loved I am.

And the more I see God's perfect, selfless love, 

the more I want to read His Word.

WHAT is it about him?!

What is it about Christ that draws me irresistibly to him?

Despite having light shed on my filthiness, shortcomings, and unworthiness...

I can't stay away.

I know i do bad things and I know I'm not a good person.

Anyone who thinks they're a good person is lying to themselves...

But then there's this guy who was actually perfect,

and he chose to go and get himself crucified.

And then he said that it was for me;

for the stuff I've done.

And that what he did washes all that crap away.

And if I could, in my selfishness,

I think I'd prefer to take that 'get outta Hell free card'

and leave this crazy radical to his ethereal schemes,

continuing to live my life the way I want to.

But something about him just doesn't let me do that.

Something about his bleeding, broken body

calls me back to the foot of the cross

to gaze at his horrific suffering and death,

and just...

Worship.

Cry out.

Be humbled.

Mourn over my sin.

Give up control of my live.

Repent and turn from my disgusting monstrosities.

Learn and grow in my understanding of the Creator of the universe.

And fight against my evil nature until the day I'm called home.

His irresistible, selfless, undeserved love draws me in,

making me hate myself,

while giving me the ability,

the strength,

the conviction,

and the desire

to change who I am.

Submit yourselves therefore to God.

Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.

Cleanse your hands, you sinners,

and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 

Be wretched and mourn and weep. 

Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. 

Humble yourselves before the Lord, 

and he will exalt you. 

James 4:7