Almost crumbling to the ground, she stopped. Looking at how far she had traveled and all it had taken to get there, she recognized her strength. The strengths she had inside of her, the strengths she had gained along the way- her inner power. And so she stood up; standing tall, she faced forward and continued on.
Highschool changes people. Some for the worse, some for the better. Lucky for me, I changed for the better, all because I hit rock bottom, and boy am I glad I did. Before that bottoming out, everything had to be "perfect." I expected more from myself than was possible. I held myself to an impossible standard, and that standard got higher and higher. But even higher than my standard was society's standard... It was scary, intimidating. A 13 year old girl facing society's standards. Society tells us as girls that we have to be perfect, that we have to look like celebrities, that we need to be thinner, and that pores don't exist.
We see models that weigh 80 pounds, yet they're still edited to be thinner. WE CANNOT GET ANY THINNER THAN THAT. Girls, Anorexia and bulimia are normal things in our generation, and that breaks my heart... But it also hits close to home. I, personally, have experienced it first hand. We see women that are so photoshopped that they don't even look like themselves anymore, and something inside us makes us strive to be like them... When really WHY WOULD WE WANT TO BE? Since when is starving to death beauty?
Society tells us we need to be perfect, but then shows us there's no way we'll ever be.. Even celebrities aren't good enough. They have to be edited and thinned, even after spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on their faces and starving themselves.
Society disappoints me. It tells 13 year old girls that they need makeup, and boys, and they need to be perfect for people to like them. But something I've never understood is what's so great about being perfect? Whats so interesting and intriguing about looking just right? I think part of it is that we all live and die through everyone else's eyes. We seek acceptance, and love, and we somehow think that perfection is a way to get both of those.
I started wearing makeup at age twelve. TWELVE, PEOPLE. Society told me that I needed it. I fought to be perfect on the outside, and through that battle my inside became ugly. I swapped my internal beauty for external... And external never grew as much as my internal beauty ever was. I wore that makeup to be beautiful.
But ladies, i have a NEWSFLASH for you: Your makeup is NOT what makes you beautiful.
I see such beautiful girls around me that are so sad. Sometimes I just cant help but wonder how they stay so sad when they're so beautiful... But it's because they see society's idea of beauty, instead of Gods. They see that they'll never be good enough.
What makes you beautiful is how you act, how you carry yourself, how you treat others, and ultimately how you treat yourself. A pretty girl has nothing if she has an ugly heart. If you're constantly dressing yourself to attract guys then yeah, you're gonna attract them... But they're never gonna be the guys you really want. I often wonder, if more girls would step up and be ladies, if more boys would step in and be men... But thats a whole 'nother post. No ones above a little love, but its where we search for that love that makes all the difference.Wait for God to bring the right person, and I mean that. Don't settle. You need to respect yourself before the people around you can respect you. And I don't mean you should get cocky and see yourself as the greatest thing in the world, but you should realize that you're GODS CREATION and treat yourself accordingly. Don't ever let anyone tell you you're worthless, because God created you.. He has a purpose for your life. And don't ever let society tell you who to be, because thinking too much of what others think about you ultimately changes what you think about yourself. It changes who you are as a whole.
For the longest time I tried to be perfect. Every day I wanted to look just right, so people would like me... And I think a big part of it was so that maybe people wouldn't see through that "perfect shell" to see the real me. But why was I hiding the real me in the first place? Now I see that God created me, and there's nothing about flaws and weaknesses to hide, because he is made perfect in my weaknesses. We relate to eachother in our weaknesses, so why hide them?
Another thing I realized was that by putting up the shell, I was also covering my strengths, and my joy from God. I was covering myself as a whole.. Not just my weaknesses, and why would I ever want to cover up who I am?
If someone wont be your friend because you "arent good enough" then why would you want to be their friend in the first place?
Now I dare to live with my heart wide open. I live in a way that people see me, and only me.. I don't pretend to be someone I'm not, to impress people. I'm who I am, so that I can glorify christ in my weaknesses, and my strengths.
My idea of beauty has drastically changed over the years, and along with that I've changed as a person. I've gained an appreciation for who God made me to be, and along with that comes an appreciation for the beauty of everything around me. I see a new reflection in the mirror.
I ask you, to not be so hard on yourself, And to for yourself find out what your definition of beauty is. I ask you to stop listening to society and instead being who you are in Christ. Make a serious, conscious effort to stop comparing yourself to others. Because darling, you deserve so much better.
"Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakens." -Carl Jung
1 Peter 3:3-4
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.
Think about it.
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