Life Sneaks Up.

I remember when I was a youngin'.

I thought high school kids were SO cool.

They were so... adulty.

Independent. Confident. Awesome.

It was like, "Mannnn, I can't wait until I'm that old!"

Welp...

Here I am.

And some days I have to remind myself that I am, in fact, this old.

It's those days — the days when real life sneaks up, whops me on the back of the head and proceeds to run away, giggling — that I ask,

"EY! When did YOU get here?!"

Ridiculous, really — I've spent so much time in the last few years sitting around, praying and asking God for things. Telling Him I'm ready for this and that; ready to be used by Him and ready for real life to begin. As though I knew better than He what I was and was not ready for; as though 'real life' was something I hadn't yet entered.....

He waited patiently for the day that I finally realized I wasn't in control; the day when I willingly handed over the reins to the One who actually knows what the destination is. It was on this day that I realized that I was far better off trusting in the Author of the universe with my story than trying to feebly construct something of beauty on my own— and oh, what a day it was.

(a Tuesday, I think...)

Up next was the period in my life where I asked God what the plan was. I had acknowledged my lack-of-control-ness; I was now ready for whatever He had in store. The mildly satirical summation of my mindset was as follows:

"Hey, God. I have no control over anything; You've completely got it covered. You're awesome and powerful and loving and in control and all that stuff. Mmm."

*thoughtful pause*

"So. Since I fully trust you now and everything— where exactly are we going?"

I've grown to love it.

I've also grown from it; I've seen my stumbling faithlessness and realized it takes more than that to truly hand my life over to my Creator.

And some days I feel peace about leaving my life in God's hands. Some days I worry about the future and where I'm headed. Some days I feel ready to take on the world and I wish He'd hurry up and let me in on the agenda. Some days I feel entirely inadequate for the tasks at hand.

Each and every day I feel blessed to have my life in His hands.

My God is a god who guides.

My God is a god who is in control.

My God is a god who has a perfect plan.

My God is a god who gives me everything I need.

My God is a god who knows the right timing for everything.

My God is a god who loves me despite my constant second-guessing.

My God is a god who is way more patient with me than I would be with myself.

...Thank God.